My heart is breaking…

Just got a phone call from hubby.
Nicholas (3 year old) was having a melt down.
He didn’t want to go to school today.

Background: This year is the first year that he’s not in the same building all day. He starts at one school, gets on a van, rides about 3 miles, and then finishes the day at an after-school program. It’s a LONG DAY for him. And me being the put-together, everything is great mommy, OF COURSE has not let on that it kills me that he has to do this. Back to the story…

Hubby says that I need to talk to Nicholas.

NICHOLAS (crying): Mommy I don’t want to go to school.
Me: Why not, baby?
NICHOLAS (crying worse): I don’t like the blue school and the red school.
Me: Tell me why you don’t like your new schools.
NICHOLAS (still crying): It’s too long to go to two schools all day, mommy.
Me (now crying but trying to pretend that I’m not): I know, baby, but your teachers are nice and….(can’t remember the rest…but I’m sure that it was a bunch of lies wrapped in happy words to make him feel better…)

Of course, I’m at work when this happens, and immediately feeling like so small. Things running through my head like: OK, well, I’ll quit, and we can sell the Honda, and be a one car family. I could do grocery shopping after Josh gets home. We can go without health insurance for me and Josh and just get it for the boys…and we could do less cable, or less cell phone, or something…

Meanwhile, Hubby calls back.
He’s talked Nicholas into school.
All is well.
For today.

My heart is still breaking for my little boy.
Today being a mommy really stinks.


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